How to save what seems lost. Entangled in a symbiosis.

You try it again. You feel that no matter what you say, you’ll be cast out again in a way you never knew before. Every time you think up all kinds of tricks not to trigger the other person, but it feels like a disguise. Hope fades and you write a little less each time than before. Each time the horizon of possibilities is limited. Exactly then, when you want to come close to the other person out of love, you are rejected and yet the other person can’t help but act like that. They all say it is wrong to even try to make such a contact. The world says: “you are sick, because you are attached to the sick. Your attachment to the sick is sick.” The other one asks: “And do you believe what the world tells you about me? Are you ready to drop me yet? “Everything looks like it’s hopeless to commit to the relationship. They search in you for the reasons why you love someone. They want to pull the reason out of your heart to say: “look I showed you, that your reason to love is meaningless.” And then they want to ask you: “And do you hate me now for showing you, that your love is meaningless? Is your love meaningless, or have you understood that I want to test you; that I have to see if you mean it?” Who is the world, who is the beloved subject. Is the beloved subject not also the world and the world not also the beloved subject?

The long-winded force wants to persist, if not in words then in silence, in order to delay this as long as possible. It seethes more strongly, for the stars shine brightly in the night and not in the day. Only now are the senses able to perceive conflicts. Only in this situation do those connections become apparent which caused the incomprehension. It is as if (the further one is driven into distance) one can perceive more parts of the labyrinth which actually leads to the beloved being. The night of loneliness takes away the willpower to bewitch the world and to bend the others to your will. You are thrown back on yourself and sink deeper and deeper into the questions of why, as if pressed down by heavy weights. At the very bottom of the depth is a border wall. And if you break through this wall because the weights are pushing you down through the ocean into the depths, they may push you through this wall. This wall which the other one supports upwards (from his side it is not below but above) and presses against it to prevent you from breaking through it.

What remains is seeing (that there is someone who wants to reach you). You don’t want the other one to leave, because the loved subject is at this moment where the pain is, where you yourself really are. There where you are at home. You hope that time will find a way, that the other does not leave, but that he does not break through this wall.

Note: I have made the following music selection for myself. It may therefore appear to you (the reader) to be unsuitable for this structure, as it is based on personal criteria.

The Fray – How to save a life
Pink Floyd – High Hopes
Twenty One Pilots – Friend, please
Daniel Wirtz – Gib mich nicht auf
Lil Peep – The Brightside

Note: Music is free and the assignments made here are for entertainment purposes only and can never restrict a song to only these aspects.

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