You can’t see me. No one can understand my pain. I am misunderstood.

It hurts not to be understood. The beloved subject can hear us but cannot understand us. The words arrive, but touch completely different resonating bodies. The image that the beloved subject makes of us breaks our heart, because it is only very superficial and wrong in many places. We see this facsimile before us and see it robbed of its true soul as it is pulled by the beloved subject on strings for its own purposes. Like a puppet, they play with us and make us appear to the other as he wants us to appear. The words are powerful, because they give the image its meaning. What remains is the loneliness in which we now find ourselves, hidden behind this portrait, we cannot believe how the beloved subject can treat us in this way. So unloving and objectifying.

Note: I have made the following music selection for myself. It may therefore appear to you (the reader) to be unsuitable for this structure, as it is based on personal criteria.

Behind the mirrors

People get a picture of us. “The villain, the pushy, the unteachable, the stubborn, the narcissist, the borderliner, …”. Different portraits whose archetypes block the view of the essential, even more: it feels as if you are in contact with aliens or empty automatons, when these people reduce you to this portrait and treat you as if this portrait is the essential part of you. “There the shadows interact with each other: the people and the portrait and here I am. What else do they need me for?” We are used as a mirror in which these people can reflect their inner splits. That which they have buried within themselves and that which they hate, love, glorify or devalue within themselves. They find in the portrait the possibility to express this repressed part. We are now behind this mirror and remain unseen and misunderstood. We must not expect that people will understand us and want to understand us. So in time it looks like you are the shadow yourself and people pretend that the mirror is me.

Charles Manson – Black Pirate
Charles Manson – People say i’m no good
Greis – Glücklich

Balance in leprosy

One finds oneself rightly in the position of leprosy. Here you have space for yourself, which you create for yourself. You can build on what the others all wrongly recognize about you. The image gives you a lever with which you can catapult yourself into that world of non-portrait, because it has substance, since it is defined by the words and behaviour of other people. Therefore it can be used by us to bring us to safety. You may be building on an unstable base because the presence you are building is built on an image that others have made of you. You can love it, or see through it. It is unstable if you only see it as an image of the portrait, because then you lose faith in it, because you can no longer believe yourself. One has created it, but it is soiled by the image of others, because it came out of it. This is a charged situation.

Charles Manson – Red Snake
Elsiane – Unstable


One feels entangled in bonds of a past time, which has an unresolved effect on the present. Offenses cause long lasting grief. You have disappointed someone and destroyed their mirrors and thus feel like a criminal. Or you have done something that makes you despise yourself and cannot forgive yourself for it. This situation creates a basis for further incomprehension, because you are now walking through the world with a persona, because you have not freed a part of yourself, but this part remains there in the past in the hope of being redeemed. When you meet other people, you are now a fragment and possibly create incomprehension and because of the half-light presence, you become vulnerable to being misused as a mirror by others.

Metallica – The Unforgiven II
Julee Cruise – Questions In a World of Blue

Search for future

We hope that there are people who understand us. We are looking for a beloved subject who is able to bring back the misunderstood being from the past into the here and now. Because it had to stay back there, in the long years. They never saw us, so we stayed behind. Outlook: We have to be careful that we don’t try to get another person to reflect this child-in-the-well part in us, because it would be too dangerous to create a construction/image that would once again obstruct our view. We would act out something in us at the other person and might be judged and classified by the other person. Nevertheless the desire to be understood is there and very strong in us.

Nobody Knows – Elsiane
Tori Amos – Strange Little Girl

Note: Music is free and the assignments made here are for entertainment purposes only and can never restrict a song to only these aspects.

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