Evocation of the imagination

The lover knows that the beloved is a fantasy figure for Him because of her presence, her mystery and her inscrutability. He begins to perceive her as a kind of deity and conducts soliloquies in which he visualises his beloved as a powerful figure in the depths of his unconscious, into which he is not able to look. He turns to his unconscious and to the numinous depths in a pleading manner. He begs in fragments of memory, in a kind of whisper whose hypnotic effect is supposed to go directly into his unconscious, so that he “indoctrinates” himself in this way, to be in bondage to her presence, if it is useful according to the laws of meaningfulness. He feels a kind of perverse lust, which however only flares up briefly. Primarily, however, the special feature of this individual incantation remains in his consciousness, through which he has dedicated his body to his beloved and allows her to work through him. He sees this as a sign of trust to his beloved, because he knows that his beloved is a figure of shadows and he still wants to trust her in such a way that he does not see her as evil. He sees this way as affirming the secret connection he has experienced in his dreams with her even before they met. It therefore serves him as an opportunity to “paint over” a lost trust by swearing himself in. He hopes that his beloved will not forget him in a similar way and feels her presence despite the also perceived loss of contact. He feels that some kind of separation (split) has taken place when he has been rejected by her. He suppresses this reality and hopes that she also suppresses reality and alleviates his loneliness by performing an incantation at night, in the evening, before going to bed.

Persona – Monolog

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