Communication Breakdown

The lover strays and forgets that two people belong to one conversation. He talks about pros and cons. He weighs up how to look at a thing and pours into subtleties and details, changing his mind from time to time. The lover is a completely intact “automaton”. His inner experience acts in a kind of balance and the beloved feels on the outside. The beloved feels unnoticed and it seems to her that the interest is not in her. The beloved realizes that the lover does not really need her to discuss topics for himself/herself, because the lover demonstrates in an almost insulting way that he/she elaborates the topics for himself/herself, thinks them through and is able to have a dialogue with himself/herself. The lover feels misunderstood when the beloved reveals to him that the conversations bore her and give her nothing. The lover feels only the pain of rejection and cannot put together in this moment that it is in itself a good thing, especially in relation to the beloved, if she openly expresses her sorrow about the contact. The lover wants to change, but the situation remains in some way in a permanent conflict. The beloved one takes note of the commitment and tries to do her part by giving the lover further chances. The lover admires the beloved’s polished, short and concise sentences. However, he is too excited to present interesting and stimulating topics in the conversations with her. He secretly does not understand the beloveda.

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