The putting back

When I meet people or deal with them, I always think about the impression I have made on them. Did I say “goodbye” correctly and if so, did I also wish “a nice day”? Shortly afterwards, a pejorative voice in my thoughts says: “no, that wasn’t right again!” I also look far too little at the true intentions of my counterpart. I look more at the outward appearances than at the origin of the action. Why does the other do what he does? That’s the important thing (especially with regard to relationships). If you understand why someone does what he does, then you can put yourself in his shoes and sympathize with him (if you think it makes sense), and then it is also “valid” that you like him or not. If you like other people “just like that”, then you are fooling yourself. You are fooling yourself, because later, when the veil falls (or the contact is lost), you have to realize that you have been fooling yourself. It would be nicer if you got to know yourself under the aspect that you can deal freely with the other person and don’t constantly pay attention to whether you have done everything right. Because by this “correcting” you feel really shitty yourself. There is a saying that says: “God judges the tree by its fruits”. So what should the tree be (the action or the intention?), because if you judge the other person according to outward appearances, then you misjudge the intentions that lead to these outward appearances and if these intentions are actually beautiful, then you still condemn an illusion, an outwardness that falls away after a closer look. Also sad: never having met anybody, because one always only values these outward appearances. If one does not also get to know the other person inwardly (by understanding his or her intentions), then one will suffer later, because one has to admit in the memory of the loved one that one cannot assess the other person. A person can also do good without understanding his deeds, that is beyond question. But to let the opportunity to get to know the other person pass by will make you suffer later. One should ask each other many questions and talk to each other step by step about many topics, if it is possible, because that is how you can get to know each other. The peaceful togetherness comes after this phase, because if you simply like the other person directly (because of his beautiful outward appearance), then you miss the situation that you actually do not know the other person and leave him alone with it, because you show the other person that the illusion is enough and that the true nature of the other person is not noticed.

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