Avalon and Balance

Various symbolisms have revealed themselves to me at the moment in the desire to understand what deep fundamental components of our world are, which actually fulfil us humans and living beings within and to what extent there is an imbalance here, which leads to world divisions (splits) in living beings.

Different art, music and videos have brought me here different and independent insights, which give me a feeling that we humans are influenced and shaped by larger contexts. Here one has to be careful that one remains unaffected by it. Because in the end you don’t want to become a follower of religion, but to collect really relevant insights that are not based on blind faith but on understanding. I still allow myself the joyful feelings of having achieved something, because they do good.

The following briefly outlined fragments as introduction:

– Christ-Consciousness exists and it is not in opposition to anything (otherwise it would not be Christ-Consciousness)
– People have wrongly passed on the Christ Consciousness and misused it for their own purposes.
– Dealing with the wrongly shaped understanding of (divine) femininity.

Summer solstice:
Besonderer Vollmond 17.6. und Sommersonnenwende Juni 2019

Divine Feminine Vs. Divine Masculine – Teal Swan
The Lesson of Christ + Lucifer (Integrate Your Ego)

We are born and raised by women and on the higher meta-level we have devalued and despised women and the feminine for centuries. So we have practically devalued and debased ourselves in this world of life. For we have emerged from women. We are descendants of the feminine. Is it not surprising that in our Western world the deity is generally represented as God/Godfather/Male? Is it not even absurd where life itself is held, created, nourished and produced by the feminine? The sexual, nurturing and gentle, but also beautiful and non-battle is inherent in the feminine principle, which is energetically necessary in this reality in order to exist in balance.

The Longest Journey – Stark und Arcadia
BPD and the psychotic component
Mahoroba Densetsu – Manami Ishikawa
Ergo Proxy Opening
The Longest Journey Soundtrack – 02 – Prologue

The computer game “The Longest Journey” offers a narrative about a loss of balance that leads to a split of the world, so that it has to split into Arcadia (fantasy, dream, internality, femininity) and Stark (reality, externality, masculinity). The division is managed by a guardian of the balance, who watches over the fact that neither of the two world energies takes overhand and channels them correctly, so that an excess is prevented, otherwise chaos is threatening. We see here relevant reflection on the pathologizing view of science. Narcissism/NPD as the sole view of the world as an internal world (Arcadia). Psychopathy/Sociopathy/ASPD as the sole view of the world as an external world (Stark). The guardian of the balance as a long lasting and overstrained mediator between the worlds (Borderline). Here further reflection on salutogenesis and unscientific view on the true acceptance of the individual and communication is worthwhile, since the relevance of pathologization for the exchange between living beings establishes a false position of power (but also provides insights?). The 1000 year reign of the guardians of the balance takes place with a symbol (talisman of balance) through which the energies are guided (focus). All in all, there may be connections to the Christian Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), or to the symbolism created by the anime “Queen of the 1000 years”: Rule of a queen over 1000 years, who wants to lead a wise rule of balance, because she is devoted to the living beings in deep morality and love, but is threatened and harassed by forces of nothingness (Nada, Automatikon…), because she belongs to these forces or comes from them (emissaries). Wondrous/ sad is also the consideration of the emissary as a Trojan horse, as symbolized in the anime Ergo Proxy, who is on a search for a confrontation with a counterpart and finally it emerges from himself that he actually brings this seemingly hostile counterpart within himself (carries it within himself). Sorry for the spoiler. A relevant notion to understand that there are events in this world in which an exterior, as good as it may appear to you, carries something else within itself; which doesn’t have to be bad, but can be difficult to integrate into the overall picture. Sometimes we also contain something within us that cannot be categorised and that may even contradict our words or the image we convey to others, but which in itself is anxious to act in our better interests (protection, Nada, Kali, …). If we experience this as a counterpart in external reality, we may be confused, as it can be disappointing when word promises are broken, as we depend on living beings to act consistently (congruently) so that meaning is possible. TODO: needs to be explored further.

Wiccan Goddess Chant
Anaximander, der älteste Satz der Philosophie
N ^ V

We have here in the past history of mankind in the early days of mankind female deities (Isis, Astarte, Diane, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna), which I have partly seen through the glasses of the new-fashioned Wicca belief. Due to the predominantly male image of the gods, it is often hardly possible for us to channel or perceive the energies of the female deity (as an imagination). These are faded out, which can also be traced in human history in the dark epoch of the Middle Ages. The wolf as a symbol of nature (Mother Nature). Witches that are attributed to evil from a powerless male perspective. The view of black/dark/mystical/attractive as cursed or evil through a man’s weak (powerless) glasses (unseen, because seen wrong). Ravens, crows, wolves, black cats: For the friend a friend. In dreams you are ready for friendship with dark world, where in real life (reality) you fight each other and do not understand each other. Children play with each other where adults turn away from each other. Losing and fighting the playful. imprints. What imprints? Time factors are relevant. Let’s look at the old philosophers: Presocratics were representatives of the river. The river as a flowing element can be attributed to the feminine divine (strength through flexibility). Then people made the concepts and thus stopped time. For a concept is an image of something to be able to look at it. Concepts, words,… all images of the individual. The man looks at the woman (actually himself). The theorem of the anaximander as a good rule for dealing in balance (real world). Technical world receives power, because humans empower themselves over nature. Aphrodite and the erynnies, as symbolism for winding. World of gods is relevant, because it is gnosis and contemplation on what moves one inwardly and what triggers one in the soul to bring forth. Our gods are an expression of our inner life, which is important because we live as humans and living beings in our world, which is not only determined by technology, because the meaning of (one’s own) life also follows self-knowledge and the steps that lead one to oneself. In the face of transience we can ask ourselves whether it makes sense to completely negate this world of gods. I do not think so, because we humans are capable of faith and religion, so we should not put it aside completely. However, through the misuse and the false example of religion/mysticism in the world, we can lose keys and accesses here, because religion outwardly repels people of wisdom, because it shows itself to the masses as blind and obedient and barren of its individuality. The true religion, is the sense of the own existence in this world, which is felt at the moment. There is no recipe for this, because it is an individual matter and the concepts from the books do not do justice to it, as we are shown in the media. The only thing that makes sense is an undogmatic, non-capitalistic (yes, Christian) approach that really perceives the other person in his or her individual being and in which people interact with each other. Here a framework of book knowledge is not at all necessary. Everything that is necessary can be created directly together.

What is the Ankh?

The symbol of the Ankh, which has been known since ancient times, stands here in a wonderful way for the divine feminine and linguistically it is close to the word “Thank, Thank (you)”. The linguistic closeness gives me a good feeling for this symbol, although I don’t know if the thanking is also symbolized here. But I would like to accept it, as it extends the symbol by an additional positive affirmation. It is in this respect a non-injurious, non-obtrusive message of usability (tool) as well as truth and femaleness/maleness, as the symbol can symbolise unity and joint activity of the genders/powers, both as a receiving and giving force. The powerful female and the receiving male can be experienced in this symbol. TODO What else can the Rosicrucian symbolism of the chymic wedding tell us here?

Das Symbol Avalon
Folge dem Ruf von Avalon und begegne der Göttin
AVALON – Meine Reise dort hin…
Excalibur 1981 – The holy grail scene
Descent of Inanna Complete
The Goddess Inanna
Dr. Stoll zur Isais-Mythe Istara/Venus/ Wodin/Jupiter/
Perspecteva – Brücke
Religion and Mental Illness (How religion hurt my mental health)

However, there are meta-level tasks that can/would be explored. There is for example the period of the Arthus Saga. King Arthur as a ruler was not only Christian, but the old powers of the goddesses and the pagan powers were still present on the same level of power. Here there is a valuable anchor point, the term “Avalon” as a connecting site, which coincides with the concept of the Holy Grail. In the film “Excalibur” we see the beautiful scene in which Parzival hands over the Grail to Arthus and states here that he (Arthus) is the land itself. Consequently, it is not about domination as selfish possession. We are already what we believe to possess. The earth as the concept of the divinely feminine and the Christ Consciousness as true masculinity, aware of its strength. We can look at the symbol of the Avalon, which symbolizes two intertwined rings through which the line passes from top to bottom as a divine arrow. The rings are separate yet connected to each other. The Grail is also contained within them and there will be the task to drink the Grail empty in order to achieve self-knowledge (looking at the ground). Both Lucifer and Inanna have received the assignment “morning star”. The morning star announces the sun and is the first bringer of light in the darkness. Here too, Christ Consciousness should remind us that salvation is given to those who truly look into this consciousness and realize that Christ is not a condemning authority. If we leave all these beings as they are and go on a search with this inner world of gods and reflect on how they interact with each other, we can see where something is out of balance or suffering from a lack. For example, we may not yet have fully realized Lucifer if we perceive him as one-sidedly selfish and thus attest him some kind of disability. We can see how Lucifer and other negative entities (Satan, Baphomet, Demiurge, Abraxas, …) interact in the exchange with Abba-Amma (Father-Mother) and where it becomes apparent that they are unredeemed. To what extent can we internalize with the Christ Consciousness that forgiveness should, importantly, also take into account recognition. It can be an affront to entities if forgiveness is given without really perceiving the other one as he (really) is (unseen). Here at such places the mythological or believing contemplation almost stops for me, because it is here close to the border to the interaction between individuals. A selfless all-forgiving God, this is a blind thing that does not do justice to beings. Christ Consciousness should therefore be recognized as a way of healingly interacting with friends/acquaintances when we have the desire to help. Everything else can even be harmful, because wherever we give our self, we do harm to the being of the other, because we do not show ourselves to him in our being, but we hide from him behind a mask. It is therefore important that it is only then and only authentically done when it just happens and finds a meaning in the situation.

Jesus: Pray to Abba Amma
Current93 – Abba Amma (Babylon Destroyer)
Abwoon D’Bashmaya – The Lords Prayer in Aramaic

In connection with Abba-Amma I found a song by Current93 where this term is mentioned in connection with “Babylon Destroyer”. If god and goddess are both present, the fall can be avoided in the sense of one out of balance. Here you can also find a short explanation from Jesus to his disciples how to pray. Here it says: “As Jesus was praying in a certain place on a mountain, some of his disciples came unto him, and one of then said, Lord teach us how to pray. And Jesus said unto them, When thou prayest enter into thy secret chamber, and when thou hast closed the door, pray to Abba Amma Who is above and within thee, and thy Father-Mother Who seest all that is secret shall answer thee openly.” Siehe auch: “Abwoon D’Bashmaya – The Lords Prayer in Aramaic”

Druiden und Druidinnen

The Year of Man is divided into four seasons, which can also be assigned to male and female energy. Why are the important festivals of Christianity in winter and spring. Autumn and summer do not have such important Christian festivals, but they miss something feminine, although they have always been the seasons in which the feminine can be recognized (full radiation, beauty, harvest time, reception, acceptance). The neglect of a religious reflection on the divine feminine is a shortcoming in the monotheistic religions.

Yin and Yang – Digital Speedpainting – Black and White Wolf

Let us also see symbolism of 7 wolves, as 7 days of creation. Seven goddesses. The 8 as symbol points here to the interweaving of the two principles and how they are actually another expression of the same. The Yin-Yang symbol is meaningful here, but even more helpful (from my point of view) if you weave it with a symbolism of nature (wolves as Yin-Yang), because otherwise it becomes too impersonal and abstract. Nature is the individual, the individual.

X1999 Opening – exDream
Neon Genesis Evangelion Opening – Cruel Angels Thesis
Neon Genesis Evangelion Rebuild OST – Fate
God’s Message – Evangelion 3.0 : You Can (Not) Redo OST

In addition, there is an outbreak in the form of a third party (guardian of the balance?). The indecisive one (Kamui, Arjuna, Shinji), who cannot/may not choose one of the sides. He is pushed again and again by heaven and earth to join one of the two sides. Here courage and painful feeling is important, so that consciousness is given to the undecided one. That he finds the strength from within himself (Arthus, Grail) to take possession of his own.

Brunnen-G Fight Song from the series Lexx
Paul takes the water of life
The Incal and philosophy.

Also relevant here is the lonely (“Letzter der Brunnen-G”) in reflection on the insect kingdom. The ruler of this realm is a ruler filled with nothing (“Sein Schatten”). Something similar is taken up in the book “Harun und das Meer der Geschichten”. To look at this dark energy as well is relevant, because this dark power returns and represents the Nothing, as a contrast to life (Abraxas, Christ, Goddesses, …). The Nothing can send its emissaries to us in our dreams and the subconscious, which can exert a fascination on us (announcement of catastrophes in the form of dreams. Warning emissaries of the “Nada” show up to point out what’s wrong, but we are afraid of them). We see this in the series Game of Thrones also symbolized in the form of the dead behind the wall (I don’t want to spoil more). Nothingness is acting more and more aggressively in our world today and is infiltrating us. We fear this, because it negates and despises life, in a passive-aggressive reaction of non-belonging, and yet it is an outcry of life itself, against abuse of life. Thus, Nothingness is a helper for life, even though it is said to be outside of life (earth dragons bring destruction to human cities in the form of forces of nature, sky dragons bring destruction to nature in the form of exploitation). But if these earth dragons that rise from nothing are truly in their strange negating power, they want to negate everything, including the symbolism in which they are rationally embedded. They want to be iconoclasts to bring down the works of the sky dragons that have harmed Mother Earth. The Nothingness consequently intervenes when the balance has already been disturbed by greed and predatory exploitation anyway.


So even though I am sometimes afraid of the “Nada emissaries”, I would like to acknowledge that they actually want to act for life, because they perceive life abused, which is probably actually the case in the world they live in. I would like to have respect for those I perceive as antagonists and to point out that the will to understand is important, because an exchange with the other can show us where our world is sick and out of balance and also show the other one that I am not only what they think of me, but that there is also a way of mutual participation and not only the choice between red and blue pill (matrix choice). Also relevant here: an acquaintance’s reflections about Avatar and Un (creation, drawing something from a potential, i.e. getting something out of it), as well as the Anna Karenina Principle.

The Cranberries Yeat’s Grave Lyrics. Dolores O’Riordan

William Butler Yeats – No Second Troy (see: Cranberries):

Why should I blame her that she filled my days
With misery, or that she would of late
Have taught to ignorant men most violent ways,
Or hurled the little streets upon the great,
Had they but courage equal to desire?
What could have made her peaceful with a mind
That nobleness made simple as a fire,
With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind
That is not natural in an age like this,
Being high and solitary and most stern?
Why, what could she have done, being what she is?
Was there another Troy for her to burn?

Helpful and positive song for future joy and joy of faith:
Advent Rising – Greater Lights

Einsamkeit und Wahrheit

“All these esoteric considerations have a meaning for me and it saddens me that they will lose their meaning tomorrow, when my mind has to recover and withdraw from these things for times to regenerate. And yet it is given to me to always make movements into these different directions. I would like to accept that I might not be able to appreciate my words of yesterday in the morning, but I am willing to return to these paths again and again as needed and therefore never to abandon them. It is good to be able to write such things down, because self-knowledge is possible in this way. Is it a mere pastime, do I really feel the touch of the childlike soul? Has it already been lost to me? Am I exploiting my own childish soul with this great search for meaning? Again and again a discovery and yet all this religious stuff is always afterwards so that it feels as if you have deceived yourself and robbed your soul of some of the innocence that is not affected by all this metaphysical matter. As a child we were not interested in it either (well, the search for meaning actually interested me as a child, too, but playfully and fascinated and so interested in understanding this world and I always thought that these miracles are something so beautiful / quite excited and satisfied when I read about the solar system in a book). But am I now addicted to these thoughts because life shows itself to me in a way and I allow it to traumatize me in some way? Maybe the whole text, then again, is to be evaluated in such a way that I hurt myself in this way by constantly looking for something, because I am afraid of just being and afraid of being alone. I don’t know, or at the moment I refuse to see it that way. It is a relevant search and yet I have to keep reminding myself that I am good for me and that the search does not complete me but that I am already good as I am. I also have to protect my balance, not pretend to be the powerful one who should help others with their balance (“Büstenhalter”). Much more, I should actually also look after my joy of life and satisfaction of being. I do not have to burden myself with another fate and I am not wrong when I empathize with fates. I should perhaps learn to evaluate what is good for me and improves my well-being, then other people might find that good, because they notice that I am doing well in my being.”

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