Love for beauty and intimacy

Disclaimer: what I have understood here may be faulty and should be discussed and questioned in dialogue with the Beloved Subject. In this respect it is only what I have understood and may not correspond to reality in everything. However, I hope that I have correctly recognized the key points, otherwise it would be a pity.

Physical attraction is a focus that draws you to another person. You want to be with them and not away. It is the natural consequence of your own instinct, which drives you in a meaningful way and gives you the energy to strive for the other person, whom you find beautiful and attractive.

Thus, when the other person is not available, for example, because he is taken – the simple answer to the question of whether a contact will then continue: “If I like his character as well as his physical attraction – and only then – I want him as a friend. I simply want him as a friend, accept that I cannot have him as a partner and enjoy his human qualities, his character, in a friendship.

Therefore, the perpetuation of contact with another person is given even if one has only a focus on the physical attraction to this person. The Beloved Subject never finds it reprehensible if we come into contact with each other only because of a certain focus (sex, beauty, attraction, desire) and also acting according to these drives. This is wanted and liked, but such contacts lack the deeper aspect of appreciating the other person as a friend and human being.

It is absurd for her if contacts are broken off because one is too sympathetic to the other (be it that the lovers are overcome by desire, and that they are therefore not able to think clearly and are not interested in really getting to know the character of the other, because they remain on the surface of this desire or prefer it). It is given that she is interested in getting closer to her partner in many ways. Reducing the contact is contrary to her. What the others generally see as a focus is: being satisfied with the fact that the other person is quickly seen as explored and known. She wants to go much deeper and really get to know the other person in all his or her particularity. For her, having good conversations is like having sex. There is a climax and the whole thing is based on an exchange with each other. Consequently, there is only one distinction for her: if it was really great and if it wasn’t, then unfortunately it was mostly insufficient.

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