Insecure.

Are you really in? None of this means anything to you because you’re not fighting for us. I fear hopelessness.

“You never keep up with me. I’ve been so many times indulgent with you because you showed the will to fight. Increasingly, you’re getting weaker at it. I can already see you slipping away from me. You’re letting our happiness slip away, just as I feared. Your actions are a reflection of my own sadness and wounding. I fight for it, I show you what is invisible, by beating fate once more with a clear expression in the request that you fight. You freeze into a wax figure with a blind smile. An idiotic smile. You cruelly deprive me of the opportunity to see you as my equal. You become a bizarre figure of a naive child, without experience of the world only with needs, like an unwanted load and burden. Handicapped in spirit and ability. Yes: you apologize! You see what went wrong – but always one step too late and one blow too wrong. The late realization gives me the feeling that you are now bending in my direction, just so that you don’t have to go. And the wrong punch you always take out of hopelessness only increases the gap between us. Because now you are just a fog. Your terrible contradictions that contradict each other distort my view of you and negate our past participation, because they reveal that you are not sure of yourself. And if you are not sure of yourself, how can you be sure of our relationship if you don’t even know who you are?

Note: I have made the following music selection for myself. It may therefore appear to you (the reader) to be unsuitable for this structure, as it is based on personal criteria.

I never tell you you’re wrong.

“You act so mysterious and engaging and as if you had something important to me in your soul. Then we meet, and you have nothing to say to me but a comment about the weather. You know it means so much, and you show me complete self-satisfaction and invulnerability as it falls apart.”

A lover does not fight for the beloved subject: hiding behind an illusion that he or she is pretending to the beloved subject is an insult. It is a very strange sadness that arises when a lover, pretending to himself to have already a common anchor with a still foreign person (familiar feeling, affection) although it does not yet exist or is not reciprocal. And consequently, when this situation is challenged and named by the loved subject, not to enter into conflict but to be non-participant. For what does the beloved subject want to do when love hides from itself. The lover is afraid and hides behind a persona of invulnerability, like one of the small, especially loud yapping Chihuahua dogs. Loud yapping must be used by those dogs who are not sure of their strength.

Angel Olsen – Pops
Massive Attack – The Spoils (feat. Hope Sandoval)
Tori Amos – Blood Roses
Jewel – Foolish Games
Kosheen – Under fire
Vashti Bunyan – If I Were
Bôa – Duvet

Where are the true lovers.

Some lovers have forgotten what it means to woo the beloved subject and to show a caring environment and treatment. What is the point of a lover bending and twisting to please, except a loss of dignity? It is about treating the other person the way he or she wants to be treated in order to be happy. It is about recognizing what is beautiful and being able to unleash the full potential of the loved subject. If we can imagine in our mind another lover at the side of our beloved subject and see how he or she can bring about and satisfy this happiness, why can’t we be? What do we lack for this and can/do we want to learn this? If we don’t manage to put ourselves in the loved subject’s place and get excited about the individual being, but too often react in a passive-aggressive way, when the other person wants to be shown what you have in you (where the special connection is), then the relationship will drift into insignificance.

Tori Amos – Real Men
Portishead – Give Me A Reason To Love You
Honey Dijon & Tim K (feat. Nomi Ruiz) – Why
Amy Winehouse – Some Unholy War

You and your gruesome dream image.

“You point up to the full moon like a dream face. You worship the moon instead of the sun. A reflection of me. Can you really see me at all? You and the moon can be together and I’ll be alone. How you wriggle not to lose this dream image of me. Oh, you even sacrifice me to this dream image when you’re presented with a choice. Show me your love not your dream.”

Utada Hikaru- Show me love not a dream
Serj Tankian – Empty Walls

I wanted to meet you.

“You hide from me. What is the reason for this cruelty? I wanted to meet you, but you hide you and your love for me behind a void. You show yourself to me as nothing. What a sad game this is.”

Mike Oldfield – Talk About Your Life
Tori Amos – Caught A Lite Sneeze

It’s nobody’s fault.

Everything is falling apart and no one is to blame. People no longer understand each other and we do not understand why they no longer understand each other, because they carry their secrets away with them. One would like to say so many things to each other, but one does not manage to understand each other.

Charles Bradley – The World (Is Going Up in Flames)
Sophie Hunger – D’Red
Sophie Hunger – Walzer für Niemand
Sophie Hunger – Can You See Me?

Note: Music is free and the assignments made here are for entertainment purposes only and can never restrict a song to only these aspects.


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